Wednesday, August 22, 2007

10 Reasons Why Socialized Medicine Would Be a Good Idea

If we ever get socialized medicine in this country of the kind that Hillary advocates (the kind that makes it illegal to opt out of the system except by leaving the country) we could see some excellent benefits:

Number 10. Boon for Caymen Islands who begin to recruit all our best doctors and nurses to their newly minted "hospitals for Americans".

Number 9. Boon for doctors and nurses who always wanted a job in a beautiful Caribbean country.

Number 8. Boon for travel industry as Americans leave in droves to get treatment at Caymen Island hospitals.

Number 7. Decision making made easier for people needing drugs. "Which would you like for your life threatening illness sir, Aspirin or Penicillin?"

Number 6. With government employees now performing delicate surgery like angioplasty, big fat liberal slobs like Michael Moore would be dying in surgery in droves.

Number 5. The poor, who up until socialized medicine was implemented, received the very best care in the world, are now treated by unqualified government employees. They die in droves, thus reducing the ranks of Democrat voters (who voted for the politicians who devised the Socalized Health Care scheme in the first place). Once these voters are killed off by the very system they voted for, those who remain alive wisely abandon government run health care and return to the previous system with the advantage that the Democrat Party has lost half its support base.

Number 4. Abortion clinics are no longer the profitable business for Planned Parenthood they once were so they close shop and Planned Parenthood, now starved for money, goes bankrupt.

Number 3. Abortions are now performed by people not qualified to work at FEMA or the DMV. Because of this, the abortion rate starts to decline as pregnant women begin fearing that they will die on the table like Michael Moore did.

Number 2. With the US no longer acting as the engine for medical innovation in the world, Europeans start dying by the millions for lack of wonder drugs that previously were developed in the US. Less Europeans means less French people meddling in world affairs.

Number 1. Socialized medicine means there is no longer a private industry for lawyers to sue. This puts millions of lawyers out of work, including John Edwards.